[yams should kill her because clearly she's altered history]
...oh...
[suddenly, she wonders if that's the reason for his wanting to learn medicine - and for his hesitation, when she'd asked him what he wanted to learn first.]
Anyway, she sure is correct!!!! There's a pallor to his face when the memory ends--and he looks down at his lap, hands curling into his hakama. He doesn't say anything for a while, but eventually, softly--]
Before, when we were just spirits... we weren't really able to choose anything for ourselves. Our masters wield us, so anything we do depends on how they use us. Having these bodies, and wielding ourselves... sometimes it's a burden, but sometimes it feels... [Hmmm.] Even if we have our duty to carry out, there's a little freedom there that we didn't have before.
that does make sense. yasusada is easy to talk to - she forgets, sometimes, that the form in front of her isn't his original one. of course a sword can't normally pick itself up. a blade can't choose the battles it fights, or the way it's used.
but yamatonokami yasusada, the person standing in front of her, can wield himself, now. perhaps someone else chooses the mission, but how he completes it - and what else he does -
that's all up to him.]
...freedom suits you, Sir Yasusada. Forgive me if I'm overstepping by saying so, but... I'm glad that you're able to choose for yourself, like this.
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That's good, then.
[Unfortunately, the memory she's getting in return isn't nearly as hopeful.]
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...oh...
[suddenly, she wonders if that's the reason for his wanting to learn medicine - and for his hesitation, when she'd asked him what he wanted to learn first.]
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Anyway, she sure is correct!!!! There's a pallor to his face when the memory ends--and he looks down at his lap, hands curling into his hakama. He doesn't say anything for a while, but eventually, softly--]
I'm sorry.
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...you don't have anything to apologize for, Sir Yasusada.
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It's just--I didn't mean to show you that.
[It's not that he minds sharing his painful moments, really. But normally it's a decision he made himself.]
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[pixi did.]
But if you're going to apologize to me for what I saw, I should be apologizing to you for what you saw, isn't that right?
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He looks like he's thinking, though.]
Well... you can if you want to? But I'm a sword, so...
[So violent murders aren't anything he isn't already used to.]
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I may not be a fighter, but I've seen my share of battle and injured people.
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The army?
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A friend of mine from a military family left to join the army, and I went too, to serve as a doctor.
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...That's kind of how it feels with this body, too.
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[she looks surprised by that]
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Before, when we were just spirits... we weren't really able to choose anything for ourselves. Our masters wield us, so anything we do depends on how they use us. Having these bodies, and wielding ourselves... sometimes it's a burden, but sometimes it feels... [Hmmm.] Even if we have our duty to carry out, there's a little freedom there that we didn't have before.
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that does make sense. yasusada is easy to talk to - she forgets, sometimes, that the form in front of her isn't his original one. of course a sword can't normally pick itself up. a blade can't choose the battles it fights, or the way it's used.
but yamatonokami yasusada, the person standing in front of her, can wield himself, now. perhaps someone else chooses the mission, but how he completes it - and what else he does -
that's all up to him.]
...freedom suits you, Sir Yasusada. Forgive me if I'm overstepping by saying so, but... I'm glad that you're able to choose for yourself, like this.