[He tilts his head, taking a moment to consider how to phrase what he wants to explain.
Well, first he probably has to give her context, doesn't he?]
Okita-kun is amazing. A wonderful master, and the best swordsman in the Shinsengumi. But... he was very sick. The tuberculosis--it made it impossible for him to fight, in the end. At Ikedaya... he collapsed, in the middle of the battle.
I wasn't there, when it happened the first time. [He chose you, didn't he? But what about me?] So for this mission, where we had to protect them from the retrograde army--I knew I could be there. I could fight beside him this time, and... maybe even save him from his sickness, too.
[It isn't as though he didn't know it was wrong. But at the time, he'd thought, it wasn't that he wanted to change history. He'd just wanted to protect the person--the people--he loved most.]
I saw him collapse, like I knew he would... but he came back to himself, just for a minute. He said, "not yet." And I realized--if I tried to save him, then... I'd be denying his whole existence. I'd be erasing the Okita-kun who fought as long and as hard as he could, even when he could barely breathe. And I'd be rejecting the legacy he left behind.
[ Roxana does not have any moral quandaries about what it means to change history. Whether or not it entered his mind, she wouldn't have thought it terrible if he did, but she understands enough that he's unerringly loyal to the ones he loves.
She may not be a sword, but she knows this about him. ]
You respected him too much. You love him too much.
...We changed one thing for him. And I can't say that I'm glad, exactly, but... I know I did what he would've wanted. He never would've wanted the world to be destroyed just for him.
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Well, first he probably has to give her context, doesn't he?]
Okita-kun is amazing. A wonderful master, and the best swordsman in the Shinsengumi. But... he was very sick. The tuberculosis--it made it impossible for him to fight, in the end. At Ikedaya... he collapsed, in the middle of the battle.
I wasn't there, when it happened the first time. [He chose you, didn't he? But what about me?] So for this mission, where we had to protect them from the retrograde army--I knew I could be there. I could fight beside him this time, and... maybe even save him from his sickness, too.
[It isn't as though he didn't know it was wrong. But at the time, he'd thought, it wasn't that he wanted to change history. He'd just wanted to protect the person--the people--he loved most.]
I saw him collapse, like I knew he would... but he came back to himself, just for a minute. He said, "not yet." And I realized--if I tried to save him, then... I'd be denying his whole existence. I'd be erasing the Okita-kun who fought as long and as hard as he could, even when he could barely breathe. And I'd be rejecting the legacy he left behind.
no subject
She may not be a sword, but she knows this about him. ]
You respected him too much. You love him too much.
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...We changed one thing for him. And I can't say that I'm glad, exactly, but... I know I did what he would've wanted. He never would've wanted the world to be destroyed just for him.
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[ It's said as a statement, but it is a question. Would he always prioritize Okita's happiness over his own?
Swords are still learning about human emotions. She understands this much from her conversations with all three, but what is happiness to a sword? ]